People often ask how to know what the right words are to use when they are tapping on their own. While you can find scripts of words to use for different topics, the time you spend tapping will be more effective if you use your own words. When you use a script that someone else has come up with, you may not connect with the emotional upset enough to move the emotional charge. And while you might think, “I don’t know what to say,” you can learn to notice your own truth.
Whether I am working with one person or with a group of people, I always begin in the same way. First, I lead everyone in taking some breaths and coming into just being right here in this moment. If your mind is elsewhere, you can’t notice what an issue is actually about. Then, I ask clients what is bothering them right now and begin the EFT tapping using their words to describe the issue.
After each round, I check in and ask them to notice what is coming to them now. In a recent group session, someone said, “I feel good although my issue is a 5/10 and it’s not shifting. When the intensity isn’t shifting it’s a sign that you haven’t uncovered the exact piece that is upsetting you. In a similar situation with a private client, we had done a few rounds when she said, “This isn’t going anywhere. It’s actually this other thing.” She identified a more specific piece that was causing the upset. She talked about it for a moment. Then I suggested starting the tapping process again using her words to describe this new piece.
Noticing what something is really about is a key element of successful tapping. Often in a session, the thing that the person initially says is the issue is just a starting point. After a round or two a new thought comes up – the next underlying piece of the upset. This is completely normal, unless we spend time looking at an issue, we won’t uncover what it is really about.
Noticing what something is actually about can be difficult when you are new to tapping. You might begin with a general description of your problem such as “I am stressed about this work meeting.”
With EFT, the goal is to notice exactly what about the thing is causing the upset. So, in this example, what thing about the meeting is causing what emotion? Is it that you don’t feel adequately prepared? Is it that you have had issues with someone who will be attending the meeting?
As you spend the time exploring the particular issue, you can write down what you are noticing. You can uncover what it is truly about and describe it better.
While it’s common for people to ask what words they should use in tapping, if you want your personal tapping to be truly effective USING YOUR OWN WORDS is essential. Only you know what your stuff is about. Begin with a sentence describing the issue and use that in the tapping setup statement. On my How to Tap page, I have outlined the steps to go through.
The outline prompts you to notice anything that comes to you about your issue, anything that clarifies the issue. When you use words to accurately describe what is bother you, your tapping can truly make a difference. You can feel differently about that issue. Give this a try and if you have any questions, please reach out.
Be gentle with yourself and KEEP tapping.